MONDAY, JUNE 17, 2002 (HealthDayNews) -- Helping your mate cope with prostate cancer can include far more than just holding his hand for comfort.
From encouraging him to get tested for prostate cancer to helping him get the best care if he does have the disease, a woman can immeasurably improve the quality of her partner's life.
That's the opinion of Desiree Lyon Howe of Houston, whose husband, Richard Howe, is a prostate cancer survivor and one of the country's leading lay experts on the disease.
"It's interesting how many women have nagged men to get a PSA test," says Desiree Howe, referring to the simple blood test that can indicate susceptibility to prostate cancer.
"And if men have prostate cancer, women can all really encourage them to get help to get over the side effects," she says. It takes men, on average, seven years to get assistance to deal with the impotence and 11 years to rectify the incontinence that often accompany surgical treatments, she adds.
Desiree Howe is the author of His Prostate and Me, a comprehensive guide to prostate cancer and treatments that includes information about what a woman can do to help her partner.
Richard Howe, who now has both a penile implant and a urinary sphincter implant that have cured both his impotency and incontinency, credits his wife with helping him to go forward with the devices after years of trying other methods.
"They work perfectly and completely solve the problems," he says. "My only regret is that I horsed around for years and years before doing this. The inertia is sort of a guy thing, and Desiree sorted her way through all the literature, and was very helpful in deciding this would be good for me and for us."
Prostate cancer is the second leading cause of cancer death in men, after lung cancer. After skin cancer, it's the most commonly diagnosed type of cancer in men, representing about 30 percent of all new cancer cases, according to the cancer society. It primarily strikes older men, and black men are at twice the risk of white men for the disease.
Early detection is vital, so the American Cancer Society recommends that all men 50 and older have an annual PSA test. PSA stands for prostatic specific antigen, a protein that appears in the blood and is a warning sign for prostate cancer.
The most important thing that women can do is make sure their partners get an annual PSA blood test, Desiree says: "Encourage him to get the test. And if that doesn't work, nag him until he does."
"This is critical," agrees Richard, "because maybe half of the time men won't get it unless their partner sort of makes it happen. And if a man has three annual PSA tests [which track the inception and progress of the disease] and then the cancer is detected, his chances of cure are 95 percent."
If the PSA test and further examinations indicate a man does have prostate cancer, a woman can help him sort through the options he has, Desiree says.
"Those who know the most do the best," she says.
She recommends going with your partner to the doctor, writing down questions ahead of time if need be, and listening carefully to what the doctor says.
"A lot of men go to the doctor without their wives, thinking it's a 'man's' problem," she says. "But if you're hit with bad news, you often miss what the doctor is saying. And women can help. Also, they often hear and assimilate information differently than men, which can be valuable."
For instance, a woman will remember what time a pill should be taken and can remind her husband to do so. Or she can urge him to follow a doctor-recommended, low-fat diet.
Equally important, she says, is helping him deal with the disease's side effects, usually incontinency and impotency.
"Help him understand that you are looking for a cure, and not to focus on the side effects," Desiree says. "It's not that men don't want to get cured, but they may choose radiation instead of surgery because they're worried about the side effects."
Finally, when he is cured, women can urge men to move forward with, say, penile implants if they'll help him overcome impotency.
"It sounds so final and odd to have mechanical parts, but your life can be totally changed," she says.
What To Do
A comprehensive overview of prostate cancer can be found at the American Cancer Society. Also on the site is important information about why black men are at twice the risk for the disease and what to do about it.
