Stressing Out at the Start of School

Tips for parents on helping relieve children's anxiety

(HealthDay is the new name for HealthScoutNews.)

TUESDAY, Aug. 5, 2003 (HealthDayNews) -- Parents should help their children deal with the stress they often feel during the first weeks of school.

That advice comes from Lisa Boyum, a pediatric and adolescent psychologist at National Jewish Medical and Research Center.

"The first and most important step is listening to your child. It underlies everything else. Sometimes listening is enough to initiate the changes you want," Boyum says in a news statement.

She offers a number of tips for parents who want to help their children cope with the stresses of school.

  • Eat together. This gives everyone a chance to talk about the day and whatever issues came up. Talking about a particular concern can help children find the answers they need. Dinner table interactions also help children practice their social skills. Conversations at the dinner table also help parents better monitor what their children are doing and the issues they're facing.
  • Boyum also recommends parents create other opportunities for children to share what's on their mind. That may include regular, predictable activities such as driving to school, walking the dog or washing the dishes. They all provide children with opportunities to talk.
  • Children are often more comfortable bringing up a difficult topic if they know the activity has a finite length that limits potentially unpleasant conversations, Boyum adds.
  • She suggests parents shouldn't rush their answers to their children's questions and concerns. If parents are too quick to speak and interrupt their children with advice or analysis, children can get irritated because they feel the parent is lecturing rather than listening. "It can be OK not to have an answer immediately. It's more important to let the child get things out," Boyum says.
  • If you don't have an answer, tell your child you need some time to think about it before you reach a conclusion.
  • It's also important to reassure your children that they're not alone in their school-related concerns. Make it clear to them that many other students are struggling with the same worries. You can even share some or your own fears and mistakes as a student.

More information

Here's where you can learn more about coping with stress.

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