MONDAY, Dec. 20, 2004 (HealthDayNews) -- Waiting in line at another department store for last-minute gifts, hung over from last night's office party and dreading the impending arrival of the in-laws, it hits you: Where did all the fun of the holidays go?
For far too many Americans, the season is anything but that, as to-do lists grow and stress levels rise to record highs.
But experts say it doesn't have to be that way.
"We get to thinking 'Hey, this is the holidays, it's supposed to be joyous, and I'm supposed to be joy-filled, so what's wrong with me?' That's stressful all by itself," said Dr. Gail Saltz, a professor of psychiatry at New York-Presbyterian Hospital in New York City.
According to Saltz, the key to enjoying the holidays -- especially for women -- is to begin with expecting just a little less.
"Lower your expectations to what's reasonable," she said. "That's tough, especially for women, because that's traditionally part of their role as wife or mother -- to make the holidays be 'nice.' "
Saltz believes everyone needs to pause and think about what's really important about the holiday season.
"Is it really about whether or not you made the most difficult cake, or 50 different kinds of cookies? Or is it more about just being together as a family," she said. "See if you can make that your priority -- enjoying each other as much as you can."
A healthy change in yuletide attitude won't make Christmas shopping, office parties, and less-than-perfect family gatherings go away, of course.
But Dr. James Maddux, a professor of psychology at George Mason University, has some practical suggestions for lightening the load:
Of course, for some -- especially the sick, elderly or those far from home -- the holiday season can bring loneliness and depression.
"Every time there's a holiday, they feel they should be with family, or the holiday brings about powerful memories of being with family in the past," Saltz said.
She believes individuals who see another lonely holiday season looming shouldn't feel shy about calling loved ones beforehand.
"Most people, if they get a call from somebody saying 'Hey, I'm going to be alone,' would bend over backwards and say 'Of course, come spend the day with us,' " Saltz said. "They usually feel good about it, knowing that you wanted to be included in their holiday."
But she said the holidays are also a time for families to remember those in nursing homes and other isolating circumstances, to reach out and make the season a little special.
In the end, Saltz said, warm, human contact is really the best gift of the season.
"People rarely think about what they want from the holidays," she said. "But there are those special little things we say to each other, that communication. That's an amazing addition to the holidays, and it doesn't cost a thing."
More information
Stress can lead to depression -- to learn about the warning signs of depression, go to the National Institute of Mental Health.