Show Sensitivity to Older Relatives at Holiday Gatherings

Tips to make those with impaired memories or behavioral problems comfortable

WEDNESDAY, Dec. 22, 2004 (HealthDayNews) -- Elderly people with impaired memory or behavioral problems may feel uncomfortable at large holiday family gatherings, but there are ways to include these people in such celebrations.

According to Dr. Daniel Sewell, director of the Senior Behavioral Health Unit at the University of California, San Diego, Medical Center, you need to plan ahead. If a person is vulnerable to overstimulation, you should limit the activities at family celebrations or the length of time that the person is included in those celebrations. For example, don't let a holiday meal go on for hours.

Sewell also recommended that you establish a quiet room in your home. This will let the person get a break from all the activity and have some calm.

Schedule a naptime for the person, especially if he or she is used to daily naps.

Assign a family member to act as a companion to the elderly person to monitor how the person is doing and to make sure they feel comfortable, Sewell said.

If you're holding a family get-together at the home of the person with memory impairment or behavioral problems, don't rearrange their furniture. This could cause the person anxiety and confusion.

Other suggestions include:

  • Don't put out a lot of finger foods and snacks if a person has a problem with impulse control. Otherwise they could eat too much and end up with an upset stomach or other problems.
  • Limit or eliminate the person's alcohol consumption, which can cause bad behavior or interfere with medications.
  • Engage the whole family, including memory-impaired people, in reminiscing. People with memory problems may forget recent events or conversations, but they often can recall the past.
  • Don't embarrass or criticize older people when they forget a recent conversation or event.

More information

The American Academy of Family Physicians has more about age-related memory loss.

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