After a spouse dies, particularly if it's sudden, the initial reaction is often shock. When you start to accept the loss, that can lead to a flood of emotions. Experts say grief, and the crying spells that come with it, can strike at the oddest times.
According to an article from MSNBC, learning about the stages of loss and grief is an important step in determining where you are in the process and what you can do to help yourself. But it isn't as easy as taking one step after another.
Having the support of friends, and learning how to rely on that support, is very important. But friends often help by providing a diversion or suggesting that you drown your sorrows in work or other pursuits. Although that can be a short-term coping mechanism, the best way to deal with grief is to ride right into the waves.
An important part of the process is beginning to see yourself as an individual, rather than as part of a team. The article says this happens when you find yourself using the word "I" rather than "we." It can be hard to figure out who you are, without a spouse. That's because women often have a lot of their identity wrapped up in relationships. Redefining yourself can be hard, but it is an important part of the healing process.
To find out more about how some women deal with the loss of a spouse, you can read this article from About.com. To find out more about dealing with grief that comes with the loss of a spouse, whether through divorce or death, you can read this article from Divorce Magazine, republished on the Good Grief Web site.